Swim Meat September 6, 2009 51 Comments

When you get an awkward boner at a public swim meet, there’s not much you can do except laugh it off.
Credit: Anthony

When you get an awkward boner at a public swim meet, there’s not much you can do except laugh it off.
Credit: Anthony

How awkward is it to have a boner when you’re surrounded by your younger sister and her friends?
Credit: Carlos

For some people, swimming in cold water causes shrinkage. For others, it causes boners.
Credit: EG

One of the dangers of falling asleep outside, especially when wearing almost no clothing, is that when you get a boner while sleeping you can become a victim of photos like this. The interesting thing is that, other than the guy beside him, no one else at the pool seems to have noticed his pants tent.

Beach parties are always a problem area for awkward boners, especially when bikini-clad girls dance with guys like this. To this man’s credit, he is being inventive. While the waist tuck is normally done in one’s own pants, he appears to be attempting to do a waist tuck into the girl’s bathing suit.
At least he gets points for trying…


Not only are boners natural and healthy, but they often have practical uses. This photo was submitting by one of our readers, and clearly demonstrates that a boner can be used by champion swimmers as a keel/rudder (see diagram 2) to keep them steady as they swim through choppy waters. Proof once again that boners are not to be feared, but embraced.
Arnold sent us the following photo:

It’s an Awkward Boners first – one of our readers has submitted a photo of himself with a boner. Not only that, he even wanted us to use his real name in the credit. Is this a sign that times are changing? Has Awkward Boners succeeded in its mission of making the boner something to be proud of rather than ashamed of? We can only hope that this is the start of a new era, one of boner acceptance and respect.
Writes Arnold, “I had just been rescued by a teenage lifeguard and I had no other way to prove to asian girls that i was still a man. So I would consider this a totally understandable use of boners.”
Well folks, it’s up to you to decide. Awkward or understandable?

The first law of boners: “The more form-fitting your attire, the more likely you are to pop a boner.”
It looks like this guy just wants to jump in the swimming pool to hide his boner. Hopefully the water’s cold.
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