When you get a boner on the dance floor, you basically have three options:

1. Discretely attempt the “belt tuck” maneuver
2. Use your dance partner as a protective shield
3. Stand there awkwardly and let people take pictures of you

Unfortunately for this man, he chose option #3. Guy on the right was much smarter. I bet he has a boner, but you can’t even tell because he went with option #2.

The worst possible time to get a boner is probably when you’re on stage in front of your entire high school. Writes one Awkward Boners reader, “our school had a hypnotist for prom. This kid Dallas* was in front of the whole student body being hypnotized, and became pretty ‘relaxed.’” Maybe he was hypnotized to believe he was a certain R. Jeremy?

* Name changed to protect the awkward

Some of the photos we post here on Awkward Boners are undeniably awkward. Others are perfectly understandable. Can you really blame Jessica Alba’s boyfriend for popping a stiffy here? Even I got a boner from this one.

This guy is proud of his boner. I don’t know where this picture was taken – a hotel room, or perhaps some kind of ship’s cabin – but either way, he’s showing it off to anyone who happens to walk past his room. More evidence that Awkward Boners is succeeding in turning the boner from a source of embarrassment into a beacon of pride.

Ah, the dangers of falling asleep in a public place. As all men know, morning wood is unavoidable, and it’ll happen whether you like it or not. The only solution is a well-padded blanket. Or duct tape.

Credit: Flickr

An anonymous Awkward Boners reader sent us this picture of what we initially thought was the world’s first woman with a boner. Alert the scientists! The boner has jumped sexes! However, we quickly realized there was a much simpler explanation.

We’re all for transsexuality here at Awkward Boners, but if you want people to think you’re a woman, maybe sporting a hard-on is not the way to go.

Several Awkward Boners readers have sent us this photo of former Vice President Dick Cheney living up to his first name. I guess there’s just something about being in the Administration that leads to massive bulges. We’re still waiting on the first Obama boner, though.

An Awkward Boners reader sent us this hilarious photo of two triathletes. As we’ve already learned, the boner is quite an advantage in the swimming stage. But its effect in the cycling and running stages is still hotly debated. Do they call it the triathlon because the contestants all have third legs?